I didn’t know there is another way of existence, but being harsh with myself.
And I didn’t know how much I was hurting myself.
I was carrying a bully inside of my Being- a raw primal energy of anger pointed towards one‘s own imperfections.
I knew gentleness and compassion- I knew the theory- to be gentle and compassionate with oneself- but never really understood how does it feel in practice.
Not until I faced it within my body.
Not until I tuned into my sensations.
Not until I started to ask her what is alive in her today.
I saw the violence and punishment happening inside of me. The humiliation and dehumanisation of my own wounded self were something I have witnessed and learned how to apply growing up around violence.
I learned how to limit myself and cut off my own wings.
„You shouldn’t do this,
You shouldn’t say that
You shouldn’t feel like this
You should be more|less …….“
If it sounds familiar to you who’s voice is it carrying?
Does it have a shape or sensation or a feeling attached to it?
How does it feel inside you when you beat yourself up with the stick? It f*cking hurts you, right?
Wouldn’t you love to change this? To start feeling the relief of your own gentle and loving awareness?
*please note I am not saying remove or delete, but change*
To let yourself Be as you are in every messy moment of your day is one of the greatest Becomings you will ever undergo.
My own portal and guide were and still are the Gene keys (visit @genekeys or my website in my bio), IFS ( the internal family systems model ), somatic practises like self touch, expressive dancing and painting and a great amount of therapy support and awareness along the way.
Which are your portals?
